Jessica and Goliath

 Can I just vent for a hot second. 

I am trying my hardest! To understand, to ask questions that they understand, to speak and to ALWAYS feel the spirits direction. and to try to trust and love my companion. But this last month, she told me has been the least successful of her entire mission.  haha, wow. sweet, thanks, i{m glad i can share this joyful experience with you too.

This is my first taste of a mission, idk if she realizes how effectivly this is painting a picture in my mind for the future. but, regardless, I have hope. Right now that is ALL that I can have, because we are poor, destitute, pretty little faces that no one, NOBODY, takes the time to listen to. For the past month we have been teaching over 50 people including families. and we haven´t had a baptism yet. because they dont keep their commitments. we ask them if they would like to change. like to pray, like to follow the commandments of God. Si si, claro hermanas....yo qiuero yo quiero......(yes yes, of course sisters... I want to I want to) but after 6 weeks. nothing. It really gets my goat that they don´t realize no one can change their circumstances except for themselves.

And this is our Zone before the missinoaries in front left! Hermana Alvear,
and Elders Woolsehenulm (spelling, sorry) and Anderson left for home! 

Now for the stinger. As I was pondering this message last night before bed.....I was always told writing begats thinking...well, I have a testimony of how true that is. We are having a hard time finding people, refinding these people to teach and then being obedient missionaries. Our circumstances aren´t missionary picture perfect, we don´t have a lot of the tools to be ´THE DISTRICT¨ missionaries. I want to follow every rule all the time, but its hard to be punctual to be this to be that and so on. so many excuses. I am SO frustrated with myself and a veces con mi companera (sometimes with my companion) and con los personas aqui (with the people here). This is my investigadores feel like. and it hurts. Literally, my heart aches! Each of us knows what change looks like, and we are told how we can do it..but we don´t know HOW to do it for ourselves, and apply this change in our set in stone lives. The decisions we make day to day impact our eternity. 

The people here have taught me so much. Today, after this, we´re going to go find out los cambios (transfers). Who stays, Who goes and so on. If I stay I know it´s because my investigadores, hardhearted as they may be, have potential, or there is someone here who needs me......or I need them.

If I go, I go, and I will always remember my mistakes I have made, to mejorar(improve) myself as a missionary, teacher and companion in the next area. 

Elder Nina, ENRIQUE, Elder Henriquez. Enrique is a giant.
giant head, giant feet, giant hands...
but he´s not even that tall by American standards.
 His heart though, probably the biggest of all!

Also, let me tell you about the rama! the branch here.  Elder Henriquez and Elder Nina baptized a gem of a person this last Sabado (Saturday). Enrique Isquierda is a motokar driver. His mom was baptized years ago, and left his family for the US. Throughout his entire conversion he has faced oposition mostly by his family. His mother, called him the day of his baptism and told him she didnt mean to be bapstized in that church, she was practically pushed into the font. and lots of other things like that. He has a lot of regrets, but we alll reassured him that the atonement takes care of all of that. Want to know how we found him? One evening, Herma. Martinez and I were LATE like so late to the noche de missional friday night, so we took a motokar, we had a rough lesson, so I was just praying and sitting in my solitude, she shakes me shoulder and says, where are we? where are we?! the motokar guy was taking us a wierd way to the church. my first thought, hm, i wonder if we´re getting kidnapped. but mostly bugged that was interupting my conversation with God, I said, calm down, i{m sure he knows where hes going.....so we make it to the church, and invite him to church, and to the activity then and there. To our surprise he said yes! and told us he had taken some missionaries here before once. It was elder Henriquez and Nina! So he walks in, and we tell him about the reuniones and stuff, and Elder Henriquez, comes and is like hey! remember me?  Can we come teach you? and the rest is history. He has the strongest testimony, and so much faith in prayer. One day before his baptismal date, he had just finished talking to his dad, who said we get payed for every baptism and all this other crap. He was alone, it was a rainy day and he was eating a muffin by his motokar. He said he was praying to see Elder Henriquez, just for comfort, for answers, and lo and behold, all six of us missionaries come walking down the road coming back from a service project at another families house. He said he only asked for Elder Henriquez, but he got all six of us in return. I hope when he moves to the other side of Tarapoto this week, he always remembers that the Lord listens to him. I will never forget his testimony and his desire to follow the example of Jesus Christ.

Hey, did you know I´m teaching english classes here every saturday? Elder Henriquez helps me teach, he´s from Arizona. But it´s been fun, haha, i´ve been teaching simple verbs, grammar, how to pray in english and other random words. A veces, we´lll get the students that just want ot know how to say, i like you, i love you, will you go out with me.......yea, entonces (anyway), we´re just sticking to Gospel topics. haha, I love the miembros (members) here. They are SO intelligent, all of them are in summer classes an they always want to learn. They try to speak engligh to me sometimes, which is sweet.

 A giant snail I carried home from our pencionisto´s house we named him Goliath